Erotomania almost destroyed me; a condition I will never forget.
My name is Ije, which means ‘Journey’ in my dialect. I live in a small village in the heart of Delta State, Nigeria.
I’m 25 years old, and for the past three years, I have been struggling with a mental illness called erotomania.
It’s a rare condition where a person believes that someone else, usually a celebrity, is in love with them.
The Beginning of My Obsession
It all began when I first listened to Burna Boy’s music. I became addicted right away. His voice and physique spoke to me in a way that no one else ever had.
I would spend hours upon hours listening to his music while daydreaming about being with him.
My obsession with Burna Boy grew more intense over time. I would spend all my time watching his videos, listening to his music, and even keeping up with him on social media.
I thought we were destined to be together and that he was communicating with me in a hidden way through his lyrics.
My family and friends became concerned about my well-being. They noticed that I was becoming increasingly isolated and that my behaviour was becoming more erratic.
They tried to talk to me about it, but I wouldn’t listen. I was convinced that they didn’t understand what I was going through. They failed to learn it my way.
The Height of My Illness
My obsession with Burna Boy took over my life completely. I would spend hours locked in my room, listening to his music, and daydreaming about him.
Sometimes I would throw a pillow on myself and whisper to the pillow, “I love you, Burna Boy.” I had even started to have vivid hallucinations of romantic encounters with him.
My brain was losing its strength. Nobody understood me more than myself.
My family had grown increasingly concerned about me. They could see that I was losing touch with reality and getting lost in my fantasy world. They knew they had to do something to help me.
Seeking Help
My older sister made the decision to act independently. She brought me to a therapist in the hopes that he could assist me.
I was initially opposed to the idea of therapy. I didn’t think anyone understood what I was going through, and I didn’t want to be labelled as insane.
But as I sat down with the therapist and began to express my emotions, I realised I had been living in a fantasy world.
The therapist explained that what I was experiencing was a common symptom of erotomania, a mental illness.
He narrated the symptoms of erotomania which include: An intense attraction for a celebrity or public figure, feeling the need to “protect” the person you’re in love,
having obsessive thoughts and behaviours about the person in question, extreme jealousy of other people’s relationships, and low self-esteem. ‘Erotomania is treatable’, he said.
He assured me that I can get rid of erotomania and that with the proper care, I would be able to live a normal life.
The Road to Recovery
I began to attend therapy sessions on a regular basis, and I gradually began to notice a change in myself.
I began to realise that my feelings for Burna Boy were merely a symptom of my illness.
I started to let go of my obsession and concentrate on my own life. It wasn’t easy, and there were times when I wanted to give up, but I persisted with the help of my therapist and my family.
The New Me
Three years later, I’ve changed significantly. Burna Boy no longer consumes me, but I still adore his music. I’ve learned to appreciate the real people and things in my life and to live in the moment.
I am grateful to my sister for taking me to see a therapist, as well as to the therapist for assisting me in overcoming my illness. I am appreciative to my family and friends for their encouragement and support throughout this journey.
Finally, I realised that there is nothing wrong with admiring someone’s music, but it is critical to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
I may never meet Burna Boy in person, but I am content to listen to his music and live a happy life.
The therapist suggested that my sister take me to a rehabilitation centre where I could receive treatment for my condition.
I was reluctant at first, but my sister assured me that it was for my own good. I agreed, and we made arrangements for my admission to the centre.
The rehabilitation centre was set in a tranquil setting, surrounded by lush green vegetation. It was a far cry from the hectic rural life I was used to. I was assigned a counsellor who led me through several therapy sessions.
I had to learn to distinguish between my fantasies and reality. It had been a difficult journey, but I persisted.
My counsellor was patient with me and listened to my concerns and fears. I was taught a variety of coping mechanisms that assisted me in dealing with my condition.
The therapy sessions were difficult, but they were worthwhile. I gradually accepted the reality of my situation and learned to live with it.
However, I began to appreciate the little things in life and found joy in the little things. I no longer felt compelled to flee my fantasies.
I was ready to leave the rehabilitation centre after six months of intensive therapy. I’d come a long way since being obsessed with Burna Boy.
I had grown stronger and more self-assured. I was prepared to take on the world.
I left the centre with a new sense of direction. I was determined not to let my condition hold me back from living my life to the fullest.
I began to pursue my interest in music and even began taking guitar lessons. I found solace in writing and began to keep a journal of my experiences.
My sister was proud of me and encouraged me throughout the process. She had noticed my transformation and was relieved that I was finally able to live a normal life.
It has been a year since I left the rehabilitation centre, and I have not had any episodes of erotomania. I still love Burna Boy’s music, but I have learned to appreciate him as an artist and not as a person.
I have even attended his concerts and enjoyed the music without any illusions.
Looking back, I am grateful for the experience.
It was a journey that taught me a lot about myself and aided in my personal development. I learned to appreciate the beauty of life and the significance of seeking assistance when needed. I was free from erotomania.
My name is Ije, and I am a survivor.
