First date conversations can be awkward, especially if you’ve been single for a long time. There are so many things to consider before meeting your potential date. What should you wear? What are appropriate dating conversation topics? What should you inquire about them?
On a first date, the pressure of impressing someone new is enough to make anyone clam up and double-check their answers, leaving little room for genuine connection. However, this does not have to be the case.
Even if your nerves get the best of you, there are ways to keep the conversation interesting without turning it into an interview with someone you just met. Here are some dating conversation tips for moving the conversation beyond “so… where do you work again?”
Ask open-ended questions on your next date.
There is a significant difference between asking questions and grilling someone with a series of one-word responses that require as much energy from them as you do to ask them.
Asking open-ended questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer is a good rule of thumb. You could ask them about their most embarrassing moment or their plans for the near future. These types of questions encourage your date to share more about themselves and their experiences, which can lead to more interesting and meaningful conversations. They also help you avoid awkward silences on a date by giving you more material to work with.
Mention something you know about their interests.
If you’ve done your homework on your date, you’re probably aware of some of their interests. If they’ve mentioned that they like baseball or hiking, add some knowledge about the sport or activity. It’s a great way to show your date that you’re interested in learning more about them, and it demonstrates that you’ve given the date some thought.
For instance, if your date is into baseball, you can start a conversation by saying, “I heard that the Yankees are doing well this season. Are you a fan?” or if they enjoy hiking, you can say, “I’ve always wanted to try hiking. Do you have any favourite trails or tips for beginners?”
This way, you can start a conversation based on something they enjoy and relate to them on a personal level.
Don’t be afraid to tell a story.
If you have a funny anecdote or a particularly good story, don’t be afraid to share it. Great storytelling leads to great connection, and your date will appreciate a good laugh just as much as you will appreciate telling a story that would otherwise be forgotten.
A story about how you got lost on your way to the date, how you met a celebrity in an unexpected place, or how you overcame a challenge in your life could be great conversation starters.
Just make sure that your story is relevant to the topic of conversation and that it doesn’t take too long or go off on tangents. You want to keep your date engaged and interested, not bored and confused.
Compliment something that you like about your date.
Let your date know if you notice anything about them that you genuinely admire. It’s a great way to start a conversation and let your date know that you’ve noticed something beyond the surface level of their appearance.
It’s also a much better conversation starter than “What do you do for a living?” which can sound generic and impersonal.
You can compliment their sense of humour, their smile, their style, their passion for something, or their knowledge about something. For example, you can say, “You have such a great sense of humour.” “Where do you get it from?” or “I love your smile. It’s so warm and inviting.” or “You have such a cool style. Where do you shop?”
Just make sure that your compliment is sincere and specific. Don’t say something vague like “You’re so nice” or “You’re so smart,” which can sound insincere and generic.
Mention an upcoming event or activity that you’re looking forward to.
Mention an upcoming event or activity that you’re looking forward to. It’s a great way to show your date that you’re not only interested in them as a person, but also in the things that occupy your time.
Inform them if you intend to attend an upcoming event or do something with your friends. It’s a quick way to set up the next date and shows that you’re looking forward to spending more time with them.
If there’s a concert or a festival coming up that you’re excited about, tell them about it. You can invite them to join you by saying, “Have you heard of this band? They’re playing next week, and I’m thinking of going. Do you want to join me?” or “There’s this food festival happening this weekend that I’ve been dying to check out. Do you like trying new cuisines?”
This way, you can gauge their interest and see if you have something in common. You can also suggest another activity that you can do together.
Find commonalities and areas of mutual interest.
There are numerous ways to find things in common with someone. Perhaps you are both interested in the environment and eco-friendly living, or perhaps you are both interested in the latest films. Maybe you both enjoy sports or know how to play an instrument.
Whatever your interests are, you can find a way to connect them to those of your date. It’s a great way to learn more about your date while also allowing you to share common interests.
If you both like movies, you can ask them about their favourite genre, their favourite movie of all time, or what movie they recently watched and liked. You can also share your own opinions and recommendations.
Finding commonalities and areas of mutual interest can help you bond with your date and make them feel more comfortable and relaxed around you.
Be genuine and have honest conversations.
Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t just to impress your date. Be yourself and have open conversations about the issues that are important to you. Allow your date to know who you are as a person and what is important to you, and they will appreciate that you have broken down your barriers.
For example, if you have a strong opinion about something, don’t be afraid to express it. If you have a passion for something, don’t be shy about talking about it. If you have a goal or a dream, don’t be hesitant to share it.
Of course, you should also be respectful and considerate of your date’s views and feelings. Don’t be rude or judgmental, but rather try to understand where they are coming from and why they think the way they do.
Being genuine and honest can help you build trust and rapport with your date and make them feel more connected to you.
Summing up
Dating is an exciting and fun way to meet new people. While it is important to be yourself, coming up with dating conversation starters on short notice can be difficult. Use these suggestions to keep the conversation going and show your date that you’re interested in them as a person.
Remember, the key to maintaining an engaging conversation on your next date is to ask open-ended dating conversation questions, mention something you know about their interests, tell a story, compliment something that you like about them, mention an upcoming event or activity that you’re looking forward to, find commonalities and areas of mutual interest, and be genuine and honest.
If you follow these tips, you’ll be able to have a great conversation with your date and hopefully spark some chemistry. Good luck!
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