Love and marriage are wonderful things, but maintaining love over time takes work. When a couple first starts dating, everything seems new and exciting, which makes it easy to overlook the little things that can help keep that feeling going. Small acts of kindness and affection are what build trust and keep love alive in any relationship.
These small moments, however, have the potential to become invisible in a long-term relationship. Even worse, habits can be formed in such a way that they erode rather than build trust. It is not always easy to keep the spark alive, but with some conscious effort, you can make your relationship stronger than ever. Continue reading for our best advice on how to keep love alive in a long-term relationship.
Have date nights and make romance a priority
Date nights are essential for couples who are in a long-term relationship. First and foremost, it provides an excuse to get dressed up and go out for the evening. Even if you don’t like to party, there are plenty of places to visit that are suitable for any couple.
It’s also an excellent opportunity for you to break away from your usual routine and spend some quality time with your partner. It’s easy for partners to become preoccupied with their own lives and lose sight of their partners’ needs. Putting date nights on the calendar is a great way to ensure you make time for each other.
Beyond date nights, being intentional about romance entails making an effort to show your partner how much you value them every day. You don’t need a special occasion to let your partner know you’re thinking about them.
Sending them a text message or making them a cup of coffee in the morning could suffice. If you have children, it may be even more important to show your partner that you are thinking of them when they are not present.
Celebrate milestones together
Whatever your relationship milestones are, whether it’s your first date or your first anniversary, these are special occasions to express your love for one another. If you have children, you can still celebrate these anniversaries as a family. This can range from taking the kids out to eat to throwing a small party with a few friends and family members.
Even if your relationship is new, you can still mark these occasions together. It’s a wonderful way to show your partner how much you appreciate and value their relationship. If you haven’t yet celebrated any milestones together, you can look to the future for ideas. Planning a vacation together, buying a new home together, or even having a child together can all be exciting milestones to celebrate and demonstrate how much you value your partner.
Check-in: Listen to each other
This may seem strange in a romantic relationship, but it’s something that many couples overlook. This is especially true if you’re in a relationship with someone you met when you were younger. We change as we grow, and sometimes what we want out of life and our relationships change as well. When you first started dating, you probably talked about lighter topics. You might have talked about your childhood, your future hopes and dreams, or even your dating history.
As your relationship has progressed, you may have developed a habit of only discussing serious topics or topics that your partner feels more comfortable discussing. You may feel compelled to discuss finances, bills, or other more serious issues, but this can be detrimental to your relationship. If you only discuss these topics, it can become suffocating and leave little room for things like laughter, love, or joy.
Love and be there for one another
This should go without saying, but it is easy to overlook in a long-term relationship. Everybody has bad days and weak points. Nonetheless, you must be available to your partner in whatever capacity they require. Allowing them to vent about a bad day at work or being available to support them if they are experiencing any difficulties can help. Being present for your partner means demonstrating that they can count on you.
This fosters trust between you and your partner, allowing them to feel comfortable enough to seek your assistance when necessary. Being present for your partner entails being present for their friends and family members as well. If your partner is going through a difficult time, you should be willing to stand by their side and provide whatever assistance they require. If your partner’s friend is going through a difficult time, you should be willing to support them as well.
Take nothing personally
In a relationship, it’s easy to take things personally, especially if you’re with someone who is more sensitive than you. It’s critical to remember that, while you want to be there for your partner, you shouldn’t take everything they say or do personally. If your partner is upset, it may have nothing to do with you at all, so don’t take it personally. You probably have no control over what is bothering your partner, so don’t blame yourself.
While you shouldn’t completely disregard what your partner is saying or belittle their feelings, you also shouldn’t let yourself become emotionally involved and exacerbate the situation. When your partner is upset, show them that you care by offering to comfort them, but try not to let yourself become overwhelmed by their feelings.
Don’t let yourself go (and don’t expect your partner to either)
It’s important to be aware of how you treat your own body, but it’s also important to be aware of how you treat your partner’s body. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship and have children, you’ve probably gained some weight over the years. This is perfectly normal, and you don’t have to be as fit as you were in your twenties.
Many people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond would prefer to be with a partner who is more at ease with their bodies and less self-conscious about them. You don’t have to be a gym rat or follow a strict diet to be happy and healthy. Don’t be critical of your partner’s weight, but don’t let yourself get to the point where you’re not taking care of yourself. It is all too easy to become complacent and fall back into old habits. Maintain a healthy diet and exercise routine. This can range from going for a walk to playing with your children or doing yoga.
Surprise each other
If you find yourself struggling to think of ways to show your partner you love them, try surprising them. You don’t need to go overboard or spend a fortune, but making your partner feel special is a great way to show that they are on your mind. Some easy ways to go about surprising your partner could be leaving them a love note in their car, baking them a cake, or surprising them with a few hours of babysitting so they can go out with their friends.
This doesn’t just have to be romantic either. You can surprise your partner with little gifts, or by doing something special for them that they have been wanting to do for a long time but have been too busy to do for themselves. You could also try to do something for your partner that they have been saying they need to do but haven’t gotten around to yet. Be creative, and you will find many ways to surprise your partner.
Try new things together (or just explore your interests together)
You may have met as a couple when you were both single and exploring your interests, but it’s important to keep the spark alive by trying new things as a couple. It may sound strange to say, but couples frequently fall into a routine in which they repeat the same actions. You could have a weekly date night, or you could have couples’ nights where you rent a couple of movies and eat popcorn together for dinner.
However, this can become boring after a while, and it can make you feel like you’re missing out on life. Trying new things together can help you break out of this rut and reignite the passion in your relationship. You could try taking a dance class together, learning a new language together, or even traveling to a new place together.
Trying new things together is one of the secrets of a good relationship between husband and wife and can also help you learn more about each other and discover new aspects of your personalities. You might find out that your partner has a hidden talent or a quirky sense of humor that you never knew about before.
If trying new things sounds too daunting or expensive, you can also explore your interests together. This means finding out what hobbies or passions your partner has and showing an interest in them. You don’t have to become an expert in their field, but you can at least try to learn the basics and support them in their endeavors.
For example, if your partner loves photography, you could ask them to teach you how to use their camera or join them on a photo walk. If your partner loves cooking, you could offer to help them in the kitchen or taste-test their creations.
Exploring your interests together can help you bond over common ground and appreciate each other’s talents and passions.
Conclusion
Keeping love alive in a long-term relationship is not easy, but it is possible with some effort and dedication. By following these tips, you can show your partner how much you care for them and keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Remember that love is not something that happens by chance or stays the same forever. It is something that needs constant nurturing and attention. By making romance a priority, celebrating milestones together
listening to each other, loving and being there for one another, taking nothing personally, taking care of yourself and your partner, surprising each other, and trying new things together, you can keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
Have you tried any of these tips or have any other suggestions on how to keep love alive in a long-term relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! And if you liked this post, don’t forget to share it with your friends!
Letting go of the Ego from time to to time, helps, too. It’s always you & them Vs. the problem not you vs their problems.
Most importantly let your love lead you