We are not born with emotional intelligence, but we can improve it with practice. According to Forbes, 90% of top performers have a high EQ and 20% of top performers have a high IQ.
This implies that our success does not depend on our technical skills or intelligence, but above all on our emotional intelligence.
Today, we can measure our EQ level by how we manage our emotions while driving, managing conflicts, in stressful situations, or simply when we are exposed to negative emotions.
People who do not necessarily agree with us or who share the same beliefs and views as us.
Read on to understand emotional intelligence and how it affects your social and professional life.
What is Emotional Intelligence, or EQ?
Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ, is the capacity to recognise, make good use of, and regulate one’s own emotions to lower stress, improve communication, empathise with others, overcome difficulties, and diffuse conflicts.
You can develop stronger relationships, do well in school and at work, and accomplish your professional and personal goals with the aid of emotional intelligence.
Additionally, it can assist you in establishing a connection with your feelings, carrying out your intentions, and selecting the things that are most significant to you.
Another definition of EQ that comes from one of the HuffPost articles is: “Emotional intelligence is the ‘something’ in all of us that is somewhat invisible.”
It affects how we manage our behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive outcomes.
The History of Emotional Intelligence
The phrase “emotional intelligence” didn’t enter our lexicon until around 1990. Even though the term is still fairly new, interest in the idea has increased significantly since then.
While some academics contend that emotional intelligence can be taught and practised, others believe it to be an innate quality.
Early growth
As early as the 1930s, psychologist Edward Thorndike described the concept of “social intelligence” as the ability to get along with others.
David Wechsler, a psychologist, proposed in the 1940s that a person’s success in life may be substantially influenced by a variety of useful aspects of intelligence.
Subsequent Developments
Humanistic psychology became more popular in the 1950s, and thinkers like Abraham Maslow began to pay more attention to the various ways that individuals can strengthen their emotional strength.
The idea of multiple intelligences is another significant idea that has emerged in the development of emotional intelligence.
Howard Gardner first proposed the idea that intelligence is more than just a general skill in the middle of the 1970s.
Emotional Intelligence’s Emergence
The phrase “emotional intelligence” wasn’t first used until Wayne Payne’s doctoral thesis in 1985. The phrase “emotional quotient” was coined by Keith Beasley in a 1987 Mensa Magazine article.
In 1990, the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality published a seminal article by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer titled “Emotional Intelligence.”
They described emotional intelligence as “the capacity to monitor one’s own and other people’s feelings and emotions, to distinguish between them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”
After Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” was published in 1995, the idea of emotional intelligence gained popularity.
Signs of Emotional Intelligence
Here are some key signs and examples of emotional intelligence:
- Understanding and expressing the emotions of others.
- Perceiving a person’s limitations and strengths
- Confidence and self-acceptance.
- The ability to forgive mistakes.
- The capacity to welcome and accept change.
- Have a keen sense of curiosity, especially about other people.
- Compassion and concern for other people.
- Be considerate of other people’s emotions.
- Take ownership of your mistakes.
- The capacity to restrain one’s emotions in trying circumstances.
Why is emotional intelligence important?
You can empathise with others, communicate effectively, and have a sense of self and society if you have a high level of emotional intelligence.
Our environments at home and at work are influenced by how we respond to ourselves and to others. Living in this world entails being exposed to a wide range of people, as well as constant changes and unexpected events.
How you respond to challenges in life depends on your level of emotional intelligence. It is a crucial component of compassion and comprehending the underlying causes of others’ actions.
When dealing with challenging circumstances like conflict, change, and setbacks, emotional intelligence is particularly crucial.
Keep in mind that kindness should always be practised during these times and that doing so can be facilitated by being in touch with our feelings.
Likewise, emotional intelligence can support your success at work and school as well as in achieving your personal and professional objectives.
It can also assist you in connecting with your emotions, following through on your intentions, and making wise choices regarding your personal objectives.
Emotional intelligence affects
- Your performance at school or work: A high level of emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, inspire and lead others, and excel in your career. In fact, many businesses now use pre-employment EQ tests to assess key candidates and view emotional intelligence as equally important to technical competence.
- Your physical health: You probably won’t be able to manage your stress if you can’t control your emotions. Serious health issues may result from this. Unmanaged stress increases blood pressure, weakens the immune system, raises the risk of heart attack and stroke, affects fertility, and hastens ageing. Learning how to control your stress is the first step to increasing your emotional intelligence.
- Your sanity: Stress and unchecked emotions can also negatively impact your mental health, increasing your risk of developing depression and anxiety. You will also find it difficult to establish long-lasting relationships if you don’t comprehend, feel at ease with, or control your emotions. This may worsen any mental health conditions and leave you feeling isolated and alone.
- Your Relationships: You are better able to express your emotions and comprehend the feelings of others if you are aware of your emotions and know how to control them. As a result, you can build stronger relationships in both your personal and professional life and communicate more effectively.
- Your Social Intelligence: A social benefit of being emotionally aware is that it makes you more socially connected to other people and your environment. You can distinguish yourself from enemies, assess other people’s interests in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social interaction, and feel loved.
What are the four skills to increase emotional intelligence?
The following core skills will help you develop your emotional intelligence, gain better control over your emotions, and improve your ability to connect with others:
Self-Management
You must be able to manage your emotions and use them to guide your behaviour if you want to improve your emotional intelligence (EQ).
You may find it challenging to keep your emotions under control and make sane decisions when under excessive stress.
Although stress that pushes us outside of our comfort zones can make us feel overwhelmed and lose control of ourselves, emotions are still significant pieces of data that reveal things about both you and others.
If you can manage your stress and maintain emotional stability, you can learn to take in unpleasant information without letting it control your thoughts and self-control.
Make choices that allow you to be proactive, maintain composure, and manage your emotions in a healthy way.
Self-Awareness
Managing stress is just the beginning of developing emotional intelligence. According to the science of attachment, your current emotional state is probably a reflection of your childhood experiences.
The nature and consistency of your initial emotional experiences frequently determine your capacity to control fundamental emotions like anger, sadness, fear, and joy.
The likelihood is that your emotions have developed into a valuable asset in adult life if your primary caregiver as an infant recognised and valued your feelings.
But chances are you’re attempting to avoid your emotions if your early emotional experiences were perplexing, frightening, or painful.
You must re-connect with your fundamental emotions, accept them, and feel at ease with them if you want to increase your EQ and become emotionally healthy.
This can be accomplished by engaging in mindfulness exercises.
Social Awareness
You can recognise and decipher the primarily nonverbal cues that people use to communicate with you on a regular basis if you have a strong sense of social awareness.
These indications reveal the other person’s true emotions, how frequently their emotional state changes, and what matters most to them.
Emotional and social awareness are allies of mindfulness, so it’s important to understand its role in social awareness development.
Because when you’re distracted by your thoughts, your phone, or anything else, you can’t notice subtle nonverbal cues. Your immediate presence is necessary for social awareness.
Despite the fact that many of us take pride in our versatility, doing so means you will miss out on the subtle emotional shifts that other people go through that aid in your understanding of them.
By putting other thoughts aside and concentrating on the interaction itself, you’re actually more likely to achieve your social goals.
Managing Relationships
Your emotional awareness and your capacity to identify with and comprehend what others are going through are the first steps in the process of working well with others.
You can effectively develop additional social and emotional skills to make your relationships productive, effective, and fulfilling once you have emotional awareness.
Consider how successfully you communicate nonverbally.
Nonverbal cues about your thoughts and feelings will inevitably be sent to others.
Numerous facial muscles, particularly those found in the area around the eyes, nose, mouth, and forehead, aid in both understanding what others are feeling and communicating your own emotions.
Even if you ignore the message from your emotional brain, others won’t because it is constantly in motion.
Relationship improvement can be greatly aided by being aware of the nonverbal signals you give off to others.
Other Skills to Improve Emotional Intelligence include:
Listening
The first step in understanding another person’s emotions is to pay attention. Spend some time hearing what others are saying to you, both verbally and non-verbally.
Body language is extremely powerful. When you feel someone is feeling a certain way, think about potential causes for that emotion.
Empathize
While it’s important to embrace your emotions, you also need to put yourself in the other person’s position in order to fully comprehend what they are saying.
Develop empathy for others. Consider how you would feel if you were in their shoes. These activities can aid in your long-term development of both stronger emotional skills and an emotional understanding of a specific situation.
Thinking
An essential component of emotional intelligence is the capacity to reason while experiencing emotions. Think about how your own emotions affect your choices and actions.
Consider the impact of others’ emotions when considering how they respond. Why is this individual feeling this way? Are there any possible invisible causes for these feelings? What distinguishes your emotions from theirs?
You might find it simpler to comprehend the role emotions play in how people think and behave as you investigate these issues.
Issues Faced with Low or High Emotional Intelligence
Lower emotional intelligence can result in a variety of potential issues that can have an impact on work and relationships, among other aspects of life.
People who are less emotionally intelligent tend to argue more, have relationships that are of lower quality, and struggle with emotional coping.
A very high level of emotional competence can also present difficulties, as can having low emotional intelligence.
According to research, individuals with high emotional intelligence may actually be less creative and innovative.
People with high emotional intelligence may find it difficult to offer constructive criticism out of concern for others’ feelings.
According to research, high EQ can occasionally be used to manipulate and deceive others.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence abilities can be acquired at any time. It’s crucial to keep in mind that there is a difference between learning about EQ and actually using it in your life.
Even when you have the best of intentions, you might not act on something just because you know you should—especially when you’re under a lot of stress.
You must learn to manage stress if you want to drastically change your behaviour to handle pressure.
Emotional intelligence promotes global compassion and strengthens our bonds with one another. Develop your emotional intelligence (EI) now, and I believe you’ll be able to succeed in all aspects of work and life, even in these trying times.
